Our third Alma roundtable tackles the struggle facing many Jews of color: how . in my own skin when dating non-Jewish POC than with fellow Jews because of. at her college Hillel orientation, to being questioned about the shape of her lips on the Jewish dating app J-Swipe, she is used to having her. Since her conversion, Ayanna Nahmias has gone on a lot of bad dates with Orthodox Jews. Now that her biracial son is of age, how can she.
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The Debrief: Will You Only Date Jews? :
Would you marry a newly minted BT or newly minted Ger? The husband will need to step it up and take the bulk of responsibility for raising a talmidei chachomim, sharing divrei Torah at the shabbos table, helping kids with their limudei kodesh homework, etc.
Dating for jews of color -
And even more so I think, we need to listen to our children-to the kids of today. Why do you think there are so many divorces? Why are kids so miserable? I have a very talented, good looking friend with yichus, money and everything and was turned down a few times because she had it all. There were parents who admitted to her that she was just too much for their kid, as their kid wanted someone simpler.
Obviously if your boy has low self esteem and although he is short he wishes to be taller than the girl to feel like the man OR Your daughter needs all the latest brands and feels she needs someone with money to satisfy her OR Your son is just looking for a simple family, no money-but one that has generations of rabbeim that he can learn from and teach his kids about than that is a NEED for your child.
In each scenario the kid will have to give up on having something else, but that is what the child needs. People usually have race-preferences when it comes to attractiveness; the progressives have just made it really hard to talk about. The problem is the liberals who like to scream about how everything is rooted in racism.
People seem to have this assumption that BTs will fit better with BTs and gers with other gers. Yes, people would rather have a job by such an employer than not to have one. It was especially true in earlier times when having a job meant having bread on the table to survive. Are these mitsvos as far as you go? And there are many KFBs around. Paining another Yid not for a valid reason is an aveirah. Would you marry a newly minted BT or newly minted Ger? Is it okay for an Ashkenazi to want to only marry an Ashkenazi or for a Sephardi to only want to marry a Sephardi?
People want all sorts of superficial things in their spouse- racial and ethnic background is no different than many of the other superficial things people want. I said the bedtime shema prayer each night. I feel cultural similitude with Catholics because they make up half of my family too. I know matrilineal descent is the minhag practice of the Western Judaism I primarily follow, but I intend to raise my kids Jewish maybe alongside other things , whether their mother is or becomes Jewish or not.
Saying that love is not legitimate unless it is with a Jew felt the same as saying love is not legitimate unless between a man and a woman. A part of me still feels this way.
But by virtue of my chosen career, I am not allowed to date a non-Jew. But I think I would be more open to dating non-Jews were it not for school.
It is important to me to live a Jewish life and to raise my nonexistent children Jewish. However, if that can be done in a thoughtful way with a partner who is not Jewish, I am open to that. What I do know is that I want the Jewish community to be a welcoming place to all people, couples and families, regardless of origin. I feel that those who are definitively against intermarriage do not have a realistic vision of the future of the Jewish people.
Not for any ideological reason, but because Judaism is central to my life and my identity, and has been all my life. I need a partner with whom I feel a sense of shared Jewish heritage, and who will join me in incorporating Jewish practices and values into our life together. I went on more than my fair share of dates, mostly with Jewish guys. As far as compatibility, there was no significant difference between the non-Jewish men and the non-practicing Jewish men.
My Jewish upbringing informs everything about me: When my brother married a non-Jew, my family could not be more overjoyed to have a Mayflower Puritan in the family. Entire swaths of New England share her last name, a fact that tickles my family endlessly. On top of that, most of my family is just concerned about my ability to develop warm, affectionate feelings for any other breathing organism capable of reciprocating.
I can see a short-term future, but not a long-term one. Dating Jewish gives order to an otherwise chaotic world for me.